If I Fall
by beatles-revelution1204
Summary: Loosely based off of If I Fall by The White Tie Affiar. Going off to war hurt, even more so when there was a cross girl yelling at you for it. Fem!Lovi x Spain


A/N: I don't own Hetalia and I never will…I also don't own If I Fall by White Tie Affair which was the inspiration for this story…Enjoy the…um I'm not sure what this is….

What If I Fall~

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving, bastard?" Antonio spun around to face a very angry Lovina, a small pout on her childish face. He didn't know what to say so she continued her tirade. "Bastard, trying to leave for some stupid war without even fucking telling me…" At this point Antonio just smiled and the verbal abuse from his little tomato. "Lo siento Lovi I meant to leave you a note…Please be good I have to fight England. I promise I'll be back before you know it!" She just rolled her hazel eyes and tugged at the hem of her nightgown. "Hurry up bastard and…don't get killed…" Antonio's spirit instantly lifted as he headed out the door. As Antonio and his army marched away to meet with France's and Prussia's he felt his feet pound the Earth, but his mind was back home, focused on Lovina.

Two years after Antonio left he found himself on his front porch. His right arm had two deep gashes while one of his legs had a shallow gash. He knocked with his good hand and heard shuffling behind the door, and then everything went black. Lovina opened the door slowly, the knocking having stopped after just one knock. When she opened the door she hardly expected to see Antonio, passed out and bleeding. She looked at him for a moment before cursing and complaining under her breath. "Stupid bastard coming back after two fucking years and now I have to lug his heavy ass upstairs."

When Antonio regained consciousness he knew immediately that he was not on a cot, or on his couch. Someone had dragged him upstairs and placed him on his own bed. Next he sensed that there was an odd weight beside him. He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the light. The last thing he expected to find was a teenage girl sitting close next to him, attending to his wounds. The girl was looking away, washing bandages and grabbing ointment off a table by the window. Antonio moved his good arm and felt his head feeling a gash there too. Suddenly the girl made a move to turn around, so Antonio lowered his hand.

When the girl noticed Antonio was up she instantly scowled. "Took you long enough to get back bastard." Antonio's green eyes widened in shock at the girl; this adorable adolescent was his Lovi? "Lovi? You grew so much!" She scowled even deeper and the tied cloth tighter than necessary around his arm. After suppressing a hiss of pain he tried to sit up, only to be pushed down back on the bed by Lovina. "You need to stay here asshole; I still need to dress the wound on your god damn leg." Antonio nodded with a goofy grin on his tan face, he couldn't believe it, his Lovi was grown up and still taking care of him. She came back in the room quickly, carrying a hot bowl of tomato soup and some fresh bandages. Antonio sat up a bit so he could eat the soup and Lovina looked embarrassed as she pulled up Antonio's pant leg to get to the wound on his leg. Once Antonio was full he placed the empty bowl on his nightstand and turned back to Lovi. Before he could start talking she got up and moved to the other side of the bed, closer to where Antonio was. She sighed and dabbed alcohol onto a clean cotton ball. Antonio closed his eyes to make sure no rubbing alcohol got in them. Lovina's cheeks went red as she gently moved his bangs out of his face to clean the wound. She scowled in concentration as she swiped the cotton ball over the fresh wound. Antonio hissed in pain, but she didn't swipe it again, instead she bandaged it and sat back. "So…what did I miss?" Lovina shrugged and rattled off a list, "Oh…nothing much, I just grew 3 fucking inches, broke more of your shit and had to go shopping for some damn clothes that actually fit, just normal stuff bastard.

Spain nodded and frowned a bit, he was an awful guardian; he wasn't there for his precious little tomato. "Lo siento Lovi, I should have been here…" She looked Antonio in the eye, her delicate tan arms crossed over her now developed chest. Her face had lost all of its baby fat and her wonderful chestnut hair had grown out to her shoulders. He was suddenly jarred out of his thoughts when Lovina yelled at him. "Damn right bastard! I grew up alone! Every time I wasn't sure what to do I had to freaking call Belgium or goddamn Hungary!" Antonio looked down at his feet, suddenly interested in them instead of Lovina. "Lo siento Lovi, I really am but I had to go..." Suddenly she stood up and shouted at him, "Like hell you had to! You just left me, alone, in this fucking huge house! You know what damn you, goddamn you, Antonio!" Antonio struggled with words to respond to her, but nothing came. Lovina scowled and walked quickly out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Antonio looked up in shock, the first time in a long time that Lovina used his real name and she was damning him to hell. Antonio quickly got up, ignoring the pain in his leg and went after Lovina.

He winced in pain as he limped down the stairs and searched the ground floor. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. He then hobbled back up the stairs to search the upper part of his house. After covering most of the house (Lovi was right, it's huge…) he found he only had two rooms left that he hadn't been in, his and Lovi's. He already knew Lovi wasn't in his room so he went to hers and knocked softly on the door but no one answered. Finally he retreated back to his room, the door was locked.

He heard sniffling from behind the door and smiled. Lovi had locked herself in his room. He knocked quietly on the door and pleaded with Lovina, "Lovi, miel open the door, por favor." He heard hesitant shuffling behind the door and a lock being opened. Lovina opened the door, wearing the nightgown she had worn two years ago. It was much shorter now, reaching well above her knees and fitting tightly on her chest.

"You gonna fucking leave again?" She was scowling as usual and glaring at him. "No Lovi, I'm staying, lo siento Lovi." She dropped her scowl for a minute while asking, "For what…bastard?" He suddenly hugged her tightly. "Lo siento Lovi, I was an awful boss, I was never here…" He held her for a bit, but suddenly noticed something wet staining his shirt, Lovi, His Lovi was crying. "You shouldn't have just left me here for two whole fucking years…bastard." He hugged her tighter and then stretched her out to arm's length. Her wonderful hazel eyes were puffy and red, her hair mused and the neck of her nightgown pulled down to reveal parts of a white lacy bra. Antonio stared for a bit, unable to take his eyes off of the girl before him. Suddenly an angry voice snapped him out of his thought, "What the fuck are you staring at bastard?" She crossed her arms protectively over her chest as he quickly looked away, a blush staining both of their cheeks. Antonio looked at the door that was shut in his face a realized that he loved Lovina Vargas, and not in the way he should.

Antonio shuffled slowly back to the kitchen. His little bad tempered charge had grown into a beautiful bad tempered teenager. Antonio sat down on a hard wooden chair, visualizing the new structure of Lovina's face. She had grown so beautifully in such a short amount of time he couldn't believe it and now to top it all off he was infatuated with her…not good.

Suddenly a warm breeze blew through his window bringing Gilbird along with it. The little chick landed gently on his head and chirped impatiently. Antonio petted his soft little head before noticing a folded up note in his beak. Antonio opened it and read its contents before sighing and folding it up.

_**Dude, Francis and England are at it again. Francis wants us as his backup; I'll be at your house in the morning. Pack your stuff.**_

Antonio fed Gilbird a tomato before sending him off. He didn't sleep at all that night. He was on the couch and nightmares and memories from two years ago haunted him and it really didn't help that he had a full grown reminder right up the stairs.

Antonio woke up with the sun the next morning. He threw fresh shirts and other clothing from the laundry into a trunk. He picked it up ignoring the pain and settled it on his good shoulder. He walked quietly down the hall avoiding each board that creaked in an attempt to make sure Lovina slept. He dropped his trunk by the door for when Gilbert came later and quickly wrote a note for Lovina if she wasn't up by the time he left. After that Antonio set off making two omelets and four pieces of toast. Antonio took his share and sat down outside on his patio.

After he finished his meal he sat and watched the sun come over the trees. He sighed as he thought of his situation. Gilbert would be here soon, Lovina was still asleep and quite frankly he didn't want to go help France if he could instead spend time with Lovina. He walked back inside his house and placed his plate in the sink. He heard a knock on the door and walked slowly toward the front of his house. Suddenly the knocks got louder and more frequent. He sped up slightly and opened the door to find Gilbert, bandages running the full length of his left arm. He smiled at the Spaniard and grabbed the trunk that was just in the door way. Antonio sent one last long glance upstairs before walking out the door.

Lovina looked out of Antonio's window. She had spent the night here, like she did for most of the nights he was gone. She sighed and tugged at her nightgown before she heard a knock from downstairs. She looked out her window to see a white head. She frowned…she knew it was Gilbert and then saw a trunk on his shoulders. She did a double take at the trunk, and noticed it was Antonio's. She felt her eyes go wide and quickly went to the door, unlocking it in a hurry and running quickly down the stairs. She made it to the hall just as the door was closed and almost ran into it. She opened the door quickly and felt her bare feet pound on the dirt road before her. Before she knew what she was saying when she saw two heads one was Gilbert's the other Antonio's and she screamed. "ESPANA PER FAVORE! POR FAVOR NO DEJE! NO IR A LA GUERRA DE NUEVO ESPANA! Maldita Juro que si vas de nuevo yo no estaré aquí cuando vuelvas…" She was sobbing by the time she finished her plea, but it seemed Antonio didn't hear, finally she made one final plea, in Antonio's native tongue once again, "POR FAVOR ESPAÑA! NO ANTONIO I. .. I.. TE AMO BASTARDO!" Lovina fell to the ground in emotional exhaustion. She swore under breath, she wasn't supposed to be this weak, she wasn't supposed to like the bastard, but there she was in the middle of a dirt road in a nightgown, calling out for him while he went off to war, it all felt like some awful chick flick.

Antonio turned around when he heard someone calling his name, the plea that followed tugged at his heart, but Gilbert told him to keep moving. Then everything changed at two words 'te amo' were the best words to ever come from Lovina's mouth. He stopped listening to Gil at that moment and turned to see his precious Lovi in a white nightgown sitting on the dirt road and he would have been an idiot to go off to war.

Lovina looked up to see Antonio's grinning face. "Bastard, this time you really did leave without telling me…don't ever do that again, capito?" He nodded at Lovina. Gilbert called out impatiently in German, "Tonio beeilen Sie Arsch! France nicht gewinnen kann dies ohne uns! Wir müssen gehen!" Antonio looked back at his friend, and then at Lovina. She sighed and stood up in the middle of the dirt road. She blushed like a tomato as she kissed his forehead and helped him up. "If you come back two years from now I'm going to kill you, got that bastard?" He nodded before kissing his little tomato on the check. "Lovi I'll be back in at most a year, I promise!" She nodded before walking back with him to Gilbert. "If he gets hurt again you'll be sleeping with the fishes, capito?" He nodded hesitantly before his grin came back full force and he took Antonio by the arm.

Lovina had been waited for Antonio for about 2 months before she realized that she was an idiota for letting Antonio go off to war. She used all her courage to send a note to Francis asking for their location. She hated to have to ask Francis for help or anything really, but hell she was desperate. He responded quickly and after sifting through many lewd comments in both English and French she reached their actual location. She smiled how predictable… they were stationed in Bordeaux, France and would not be moving for several weeks, giving her plenty of time to get there from Antonio's house in Madrid.

Antonio was going over battle plans when he heard a horse's hoofs abruptly stop. He looked up but thought better of it, the battle would be in two days and he needed to figure out what his army should be doing. There was the opening of a tent flap next and then he felt France's arm around his shoulder. "Bonjour, mon cher ami! Pourquoi ne pas vous prendre une pause?" Antonio looked at his friend, and agreed it would be nice to get out of the dimly lit tent…Suddenly he felt himself fall to the ground, small delicate but calloused hands encasing his waist. He felt the person get off of him and heard her smooth out some kind of fabric before opening her mouth. "Bastardo alzarsi e dire ciao correttamente…" He smiled wider than he had in two months, he knew that voice. It was the sweet voice of half-hearted insults from his wonderfully cranky Italian. "Esta es una maravillosa sorpresa, mi poco de tomate, gracias!" He smiled as she hugged him, and then a though occurred to him. (OMG HOW RARE!) There was going to be a battle in the area in only two short days, and he would never forgive himself if he let his little tomato get hurt. "Lovi lo siento but you can't stay here, you have to go home…I don't want you to get hurt." She scoffed in annoyance before bursting out laughing. "You think I'll get hurt? You're fighting Arthur he would never hurt a 'lady'. Besides I if I have to leave, you're coming with me." She jabbed him in the chest at the last part convincing him that she meant business. "Lovi, I must stay," he bent low so that none but her could hear him, "You France can't win without help…" She rolled her wonderful hazel eyes and frowned before marching over to France, bravely and whispering something in his ear. She swatted away him hand as he tried to grab for her ass and walked back to France. "You are coming back to Madrid with me, end of story, got it?" He nodded looking at France, who just gave him a thumbs-up.

He felt a hand tentatively grab his and smiled. He remembered all of the time he came home, bloody and bruised from battle to see his little Lovina scowling as he walked through the door. He would fall roughly on his couch face down and groan into the pillow. He would quickly fall asleep ignoring wherever the pain was this time. While he was asleep Lovina would grab a bucket of water and drag it toward the motionless body. She would clean the wounds she could reach and bandage up the idiot with a small grin on her face. When he awoke she would be there to swear at him with all of her might, he face turning red like a tomato as her face contorted in anger. She would berate him for being irresponsible, for getting blood on the carpet and when she thought she was alone she would berate him for leaving her so often and leaving her in his house, alone.

Antonio smiled again and squeezed Lovina's hand telling her that he would go. She let out a faint smile and then took him toward his tent, to grab his things. She sat down on his cot as he gathered clothes from the make-shift dirt floor and stuffed them in his trunk. He tripped at one point stumbling into the dirt, and she gently picked him up, noting the gash in his leg had reopened. Even with his leg hurting he smiled because even when he tripped and stumbled and fell down to his lowest point he knew…he just knew. Even if he fell along the way she would always be there to pick him up and ease the pains he felt. Her soft voice, half-hearted insults and gentle worried eyes, everything hardened over by a façade would always be there, either trailing behind or walking next to him and he wouldn't ever have it any other way.

A/N: Honestly I know this probably sucks but I had to finish this, I know the characters were probably OOC and shit but I though the idea was cute and have a plot bunny for a couple oneshots and stuff… God I hope you do like this because I worked so hard on and yeah…I've started school so the updates will be even slower than they are and um…wish me luck in high school and stuff~!

OH ALSO, I won't continue Fifteen cause I have no inspiration for it and stuff so yeah no more fifteen but I have to finish 100 Questions and Disney Hetalia and um…Singing in the Drunkeness…um…I HOPE YOU HUYS STILL EVEN CARE… yeah sorry I'm tired so I'm gonna shut up and I hope you liked If I Fall…HERE'S A SHORT EPILOGUE I JUST THOUGH OF…. ~!

Antonio looked at the small girl in his arms. She snuggled close to his chest as she slept, muttering under breath. It had been two days since they got back to Madrid. On the first day everything was normal, she was moody and cross, but helped him pick tomatoes and sat down on the couch with him. On the second day she followed him around looking as if she wanted to say something but held her tongue. Finally as Antonio went to bed, he heard a soft knock on his oak door. It opened without him saying that it could and there stood Lovina, tugging the hem of her dress and rubbing at her eyes. "Antonio, can I sleep with you tonight?" He felt himself go through several phased of confusion, happiness and worry before nodding. She went underneath the covers and curled to mold perfectly into his side. "Antonio, do you love me?" He looked down at the girl and smiled. "Of course Lovi, you know that I do." She frowned and spoke softly as her voice cracked. "They why don't you show me, you act like nothing happened between that day you left and now and I feel as if you don't." He kissed her gently on the lips but them she clung to him as if her life depended on it. He kissed her deeper and she melted into him. It was then that he noticed that she needed him and that he needed her just as much. As he though back on it, he was glad he left that night all those years ago, not only had he protected her from England, he had gotten her all to himself as well.

~THE END~


End file.
